


The Truth.

by LunarEclipse9



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 04:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9162412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarEclipse9/pseuds/LunarEclipse9
Summary: I'm not great with titles. Or summaries. Or stories. But I guess this is easier because I'm just recounting things that have already happened, rather than make things up. I'm not really sure where else to post this, and I think this website (a place that is apparently known for fan fictions) is better than a place like Reddit or Facebook or whatever, because I'd rather this thing to have a sort of mystery behind it regarding whether or not this is a true account of someone, that someone being me. I'd rather there be a stigma around it instead of everyone immediately thinking it's true because I don't want to tarnish Dan Howell's (danisnotonfire's) or Phil Lester's (AmazingPhil's) image on the internet. That never is my intention. I just want to tell you my story and you can decide for yourself whether or not to believe it to be true. Just don't think at any point that this story is heading where you think it will, because if this experience has taught me one thing, it's that life is just one big mind-fuck.





	1. Entry 1

I don't really know how to start this story. I'm not a natural-born writer, nor am I anyone special. I'm a girl in university with a couple thousand followers on a Nirvana fan account on Instagram.  
But, now that I think about it, to some people I may not be seen as so insignificant.  
And that is because I am also the only person that knows the truth about Dan Howell.  
But I don't know how long it will take to actually tell that part of my story, so let me just say that I'll get to that later.  
For now, I'm going to tell you the tale about how I met the famous YouTuber, danisnotonfire, and his best friend, AmazingPhil, and how my relationship with this certain brunette-haired boy changed my life.  
Now don't think that this story will be like some fan fiction about a girl who slowly falls in love with this internet star, and don't think that this counteracts all your shipping fantasies.  
And, yes, I've read what you guys daydream about, and all your theories and clues alluding to Dan and Phil's relationship. Although what actually happened doesn't coordinate with all your hopes and dreams perfectly, it doesn't crush them, either.  
Because, like I said, this isn't your run-of-the-mill story.


	2. Entry 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where it all begins. This is the night that changed everything.

"This is my mate , Dan," my good friend, Jared, said, pointing to a pale boy with an outdated, 2007-style, chocolate-colored fringe. He wore a brown jumper, black jeans, and a grin as he held a glass of wine in his hand.  
"Hi," I said, waving a little. I was hoping he could hear me over the loud conservations of other YouTube-ers.  
Jared was a friend of mine I'd known since high school, which was around the time that he became quite popular on YouTube. Now, around five years later, he had accumulated a few hundred thousand subscribers.  
Due to his internet success, he'd gotten the chance to rub elbows with a lot of other YouTube stars and was invited to parties often. I didn't really understand the whole YouTube craze, but Jared offered to bring me along to a party, so I thought why not.  
So here I was, being introduced to a ton of famous YouTube-ers in London, whom one of my best friends conversed with on the daily.  
"Nice to meet you, XX," Dan said, holding out his free hand for me to shake, in which I did.  
I couldn't lie—the guy was attractive. Too bad I looked the way I did. I didn't have much time to do my makeup and everything since I'd been busy going all around the city with Jared since yesterday when I'd arrived there from my dorm in Reading. I didn't pack my hair straightener or my face wash, either.  
But Dan didn't seem to mind as his deep brown eyes scanned my face.  
"Didn't Phil come with you?" Jared asked him.  
The boy's gaze left me and turned to my friend. "Yeah. He's at the bar getting a drink."  
"Oh, okay. I just wanted to introduce XX to him as well. I'm gonna actually go get a drink myself. You want anything, XX?"  
"Just water, thanks," I replied. Jared gave me a thumbs-up and left me with Dan—awkward, since we had just met.  
"Is this your first time at a YouTube-er gathering?" Dan asked me.  
"Well, considering I am not even a YouTube-er, yes," I retorted, not intending to sound as harsh as I did in actuality.  
"Oh. That's why I didn't recognize you," Dan said. He leaned in closer so he didn't have to talk as loudly. Even though it was nothing intimate, my stomach felt light and airy. "Between you and me, I've been to a lot and even I'm still not really used to them."  
I huffed a laugh. "Yeah, I can see why. They're pretty intimidating."  
"They're a little easier to take in when you have a pal with you."  
"That's why I've been hanging on Jared this whole time," I said.  
"I do that sorta thing, too, even though I know mostly everyone here. I always bring my friend Phil to every party, but we're almost always both invited, anyway," he admitted.  
"That's cool," I responded, not being able to think of anything else to say.  
"Well, hey, at least you now know someone here," Dan said, gesturing toward himself. "So if you and Jared get separated you can just come hang with Phil and me."  
I couldn't help but smile. Both cute and sweet, I noted. I wouldn't mind hanging with him at this place. "Yeah. Thanks."  
"We're mostly always sitting by ourselves in the corner, anyway," he said.  
Unfortunately, our chat was ended shortly when Jared approached once again with a glass of liquor in one hand and a solo cup full of water in the other, which he handed me. A boy who had the same haircut as Dan but jet-black and parted on the other side followed him.  
"XX, this is Phil. Phil, this is XX," he introduced.  
The dark-haired boy with magnificent blue eyes waved joyfully. "Hi, XX! Jared told me that this is your first time at a YouTube party. Don't worry—it's not as scary as it first seems."  
I smiled politely. "I sure hope so, because I have a very strong urge to hide away in a corner."  
"Well, that instinct never really goes away," Dan chimed in.  
"At least I know there's people here like me," I said, alluding to the two friends.  
After chatting for awhile, I eventually did help myself to a few drinks and found myself opening up to them more easily. At one point, I was either too immersed in our discussion or too buzzed to notice (I can't remember very well) that some of Jared's other YouTube buddies dragged him away and I was left with only Dan and Phil.  
I was never really one to stay out at parties very late, and I really didn't want to wake up in the morning with a bad hangover, so I decided to leave the party early, taking a cab back to the hotel I was staying at.  
The one thing that I remember most from waking up the next morning was that when I reached into my back pocket to get my phone, a gum wrapper fell out with it, and on it was written both Dan and Phil's phone numbers.


	3. Entry 3

I'm not very great at knowing when to first text someone after they've given you their number (honestly, is there really anyone who IS good at that?), and even worse at knowing what to say when you first text someone after they've given you their number.  
Throwing all caution out the window, I decided to text Dan one of the first things that popped into my mind. And, lo and behold, he replied.  
We texted for a bit more until Jared called me and told me to wait for him in the hotel lobby, since we were packing everything else we'd been planning to do together in London into this last day I'd be here until I went back to Reading to visit family for the rest of my Christmas break.  
Since all of this is more or less irrelevant to the story of Dan and me, I might as well skip this unnecessary personal stuff and jump to the next time Dan, Phil, and I talked.  
Phil had actually texted me out of the blue a few days before Christmas, asking me if I wanted to join him and Dan to see the new Star Wars movie, explaining that I talked a lot about how much I liked the movie series at that party. Thinking back on it, I was probably more than just tipsy that night. I told him that I was already back home and he apologized, saying he'd forgotten that I didn't actually live in London.  
We didn't talk at all for at least a few weeks after that, and I had returned to university by the time we next spoke.  
I was bored of studying one night and felt like talking to someone, so I sent Dan a quick text, and we started up a little chat.   
That night of texting really kicked things off between us, because we began texted each other nearly every day after that, even if some days it was just a small exchange consisted of a few words.

We bonded over our shared love for bands and dogs and our serious procrastination issues.  
I also frequently texted Phil, but our conversations never ran as long as Dan's because we didn't have quite as much in common, except for the fact that we both really like houseplants, which is kind of a strange interest. I would send him pictures of my potted flowers and cacti and he'd, oddly enough, rate them on a scale of one to ten. That was a fun time.  
It made me really happy, because our little texts to each other helped me get through the extremely long and boring uni days.  
However, one day a text Dan had sent me took me a little by surprise.  
He asked if I considered him a friend.  
I said that I, of course, considered him a friend. He didn't respond for an hour, and when he did, all he said was "K." I decided to change the subject after that and he quickly complied.  
There was another time that really took our relationship into a different direction. At this point, he was following my Instagram (my personal one, not my Nirvana fan account), and he brought up in the middle of our conversation that he saw my latest post, which was a selfie, and said I looked really beautiful. He then immediately sent a text about something completely unrelated.  
That opened up a door that we never previously reached. He would talk about how he was so excited to see me again when I was to come back to London during Easter break, and how he would give me the biggest hug when he next saw me. He also would sometimes give me random compliments sometimes. I returned the affection, too. I thought he was a really attractive and good person.  
When March finally rolled around I was excited for Jared to pick me up and drive me to London again to stay for a few days, and to visit Dan and Phil. I could tell the two were also excited, and even had offered to drive to Reading themselves to pick me up. We eventually settled that I'd visit them at their flat the night I arrived in the city.  
Jared and I went out for lunch at Nandos, then we went back to his flat, where we played Mario and drank soda. I was happy to see Jared again, but I was secretly more excited to see Phil, and especially Dan.  
When five o'clock rolled around, I told Jared I was going to go see them.  
Jared already knew about how close Dan, Phil, and I had grown over text, and I even told him that I thought Dan was into me and that I liked him too.  
I took a cab to their apartment and rang the doorbell. It took a little while for them to answer, but Phil opened the door and greeted me warmly with an arm wrapped around my shoulders in a side-hug as I walked through the door. He asked me how my trip was and I said that it was good. It wasn't long until Dan came down the stairs as well and slowly moved toward me, as if silently asking with his eyes if it was okay to give me a hug.  
His tall figure nearly enveloped me when we embraced and he smelled warm and like a cabin in the woods in the middle of a snowstorm.  
I stayed for a while, drinking Ribena and watching movies and playing video games with them. It was already pretty late by the time I told them that I was headed to Jared's to get my suitcase and then to a hotel to rent out a room. They insisted that I stay in their guest bedroom for at least tonight, considering how late it was.  
I agreed, and Phil went up to the spare bedroom to ready the bed while Dan went into his bedroom to find me some sweatpants and a jumper to wear, since I had no other clothes with me. I had to admit, wearing his clothing (which also smelled like a warm cabin) made my little heart scream a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been debating posting this for about a month or so. But, considering this is the Internet and nothing can really be confirmed real or fake, it's comforting knowing that everyone will take this with a grain of salt. For safety reasons, though, I'm excluding my name from my retelling of the story, so that's why you'll see "XX" anytime my name is mentioned. Also, I decided to mark the "chapters" as entries, and I thought it'd be better to break the story up in parts so I don't have to release the entire story all at once, since I just started working, so I'm pretty busy and won't always have time to try and remember everything.  
> One more thing before I go: all the quotations aren't always the exact things that the people said, I just sometimes wanted the story to be more in-depth so you could understand my view of what happened, so I added in a few details here and there.


End file.
